


Loew

by Colamiilk



Series: Left Unsaid [2]
Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Bipolar Justin, Giriko may of been around for longer then we can comprehend but he really, M/M, Redeemed Giriko, Redemption AU, There is one reference to the manga though, This is mostly fluff though, and its sad, and recovery based, anime-verse, learning how to be an adult at 824 was a strong contender for the title, needs to work on himself
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2019-12-30 09:42:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18313067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Colamiilk/pseuds/Colamiilk
Summary: When the door finally creaked open Giriko let himself inside with an over dramatic sigh, grateful to be outside and away from anyone who might bother him. But somehow… he still wasn’t relieved. The tension headache he had felt building all day didn’t dissipate, the annoyance in his chest was still threatening to bubble over and Justin was probably just around the corner.





	1. Weight of Living

Giriko’s feet felt obscenely heavy as he trudged up the stairwell. He hadn’t gone out until late, hoping that if he waited until late afternoon less people would be milling about and he wouldn’t have to converse with anyone.

But of course he was wrong. Death City might’ve be quiet in terms of crime, but God was it loud in terms of children running up and down the streets screaming. Each time Giriko went out he found himself just barely holding himself back from becoming ballistic. How did anyone put up with this? How was he putting up with this? Each day was starting to feel like some soul sucking trial.

More and more he was finding himself questioning why he came here. When he finally reached the top of the stairs he moved to be flush besides the guard rail. Hearing the wind whip by him as he made his way down the row blurred out any annoying sounds he may of been able to hear from the parks below and finally gave him a sense of quiet.

The old beaten up steel door of their apartment came into view soon enough but somehow he couldn’t decide if he was relieved or even more exhausted. It wasn’t that he didn’t like living with Justin, bothering the preacher and making the annoyingly calm boy fume. But right now all he wanted was to be alone.

Looking past the rails Giriko stared tiredly at the setting sun. The world was painted in a fiery orange. The warm colored light made the surrounding trees that hid there apartment complex from the millions of others like it look black. Everything looked a bit more haunting and dark. Giriko could feel the bags under his eyes, hot and heavy. It made him feel old.

It was funny that only now his age was catching up with him. That after so long the thing that finally weighed him down was trying to connect. In all his time living, in all his life times he had never really considered just how hard it would be to be a part of society without hiding himself and pretending to be normal. Probably because he never even considered it would be possible for someone like him.

He still wasn’t convinced it was possible. He had been hopeful for a bit, but recently things had been settling in a way that felt unbearable. Biting at his lip Giriko worked at it in frustration. The thoughts swirling in his head weren’t just depressing, they were making his skin itch with the dangerous desire of just giving up.

The desire to do something that really would end any chance he had at finding a place for himself.   

Shaking the overwhelming thoughts that threatened to ruin everything out of his mind he growled. There was no point in waiting out here, it’d only kill his eyes. If he wanted to think about these things and drive himself to insanity he could very well do it inside.

Pushing himself off the bars he wondered when he had leaned up against them. There was a moment of head rush as he got back to his feet. God, how long had he been out here? The sun was pretty much gone now. After a moment of wondering he shrugged it off and began to dig in his pockets for his keys, there was a sound of all of them rattling together as he pulled them out and searched for the one he needed.

The low light made finding the key to Justin’s unnecessarily hard. It was a soft gold, nothing flashy or over the top. But compared to the other keys Giriko had to places in Loew that were hundreds of years old it looked like something amazingly modern. Because of that he luckily was able to figure out which one he needed without even needing to scramble under one of the shitty sconces for extra light.

The key went in with minimal resistance from the pegs, and as each one clicked out of the way to make room Giriko found his fingers itching, desperate to play with the mechanics. Instead he just twisted the key, cursing under his breath when it didn’t just open and he had to pull on the door handle and try again.

The stupid thing always got stuck, it never gave sympathy on a bad day, it was just perfectly on the edge- functional enough that there was no point to replace it but broken enough to work his last nerve every goddamn day. One day he’d was going break this door down in a fit of rage, he could feel it in his blood.

When the door finally creaked open Giriko let himself inside with an over dramatic sigh, grateful to be outside and away from anyone who might bother him. But somehow… he _still_ wasn’t relieved. The tension headache he had felt building all day didn’t dissipate, the annoyance in his chest was still threatening to bubble over. Justin was probably just around the corner, and while the blonde wouldn’t bother him if he just went to bed Giriko refused to let the other know he was feeling weak and tired. He couldn’t calm down because he knew he still had to be on guard.

Well, he knew he didn’t have to be. Justin wouldn’t tease or bother him about it but still, the guy was too goddamn sympathetic. It just pissed him off. It wasn’t like he ever said anything, but Giriko could still feel the other’s curiosity and concern. It was infuriating. He didn’t like being looked down on, not even if it was someone being worried for his sake. So he was going to have to at least say something and try and act normal.

“I’m back.” Announcing himself he only tched at the lack of a reply. It was typical, Justin wore his headphones everywhere, even in the house a lot of the time. There really wasn’t any surprise that the kid couldn’t hear him. He was going to have to find him if he wanted to actually let Justin know he was home.

Luckily that was usually easy enough, no harder than just listening to where the hum of music was coming from. Straining to listen to any odd sound in the apartment around him Giriko was shocked to realize there wasn’t any music. No hum or anything. And while it was possible for Justin to be without his headphones it was extremely unlikely.

The idea that Justin wasn’t home didn’t even cross Giriko’s mind until he walked into their kitchen in his search and came across a note from the boy in question- claiming he had gone to the store. Giriko wasn’t sure why the note came as such a shock, or why it felt icy for the other to be missing.

He had just been thinking he had wanted to be alone. This should’ve been a relief, a moment of respite from dealing with people all day. But as much as he wanted it to be, it wasn’t. He just felt even more drained, more empty. It made him feel cold, like he was about to implode because there was just nothing inside him.

It made him long for the red hot anger he had been expecting Justin to make him feel. It was weird, to want someone to annoy you, but Giriko would take anything over this. He’d take his weird 800 year silent wind up to complete insanity over this. This crippling feeling of…

What?

What even was this feeling? Giriko wasn’t sure. It felt foreign in his heart, almost brand new. After living 800 years it was unbelievable that there would be anything new left for him. In fact there was absolutely no way it was. What could he have possibly not felt? After all he’d been through?

Grumbling to himself he scratched at his hair, turning away from the offending note he had frozen in front of and leaving the kitchen. This all felt like some dumb joke.

He just needed to distract himself… but with what? He rarely did anything but talk to Justin when he was here. If he wanted to do something he went out. He had just gotten back though, and he really didn’t want to go back out there. Being around anyone but Justin felt unbearable right now.

He needed something in here… stalking around the small area searching for something to mess with he suddenly remembered something. A lone box he had brought with him, one that he’d taken the clothes out of but had never bothered to unpack the rest. He had always brushed it off with ‘I’ll get to it’ and now was a good as time as he’d get.

They had shoved it up on top one of the shelves in the closet, and while Giriko was tall it was still annoyingly hard to get down. As he gripped the cardboard and slid it off the old wire shelf he realized far too late how much heavier it was then he expected, he had no hope of catching it as it went tumbling down to the floor below.

After a deafening boom Giriko peeked his eyes open, surprised to see everything still looked fairly ok. The box had tipped over spilling it's contents across the floor, but everything was still intact. Giriko swore under his breath and leaned down. And as he was shoveling the crap back inside though he felt his hands close around something so familiar it knocked the wind out of him.

His gloves.

He felt the world go silent as he picked them up, looking at them in awe for a bit before sliding them back on. They still fit perfectly. Of course they did, they were made for him after all. Had already survived years without growing uncomfortable or tight. Flexing his hand he felt the mechanical parts within it click and spin and the oversized hand move in tandem with his own. It felt powerful, it reminded him that he was capable of bringing golems to life.

Once he had gone off with Arachne he had been so swept up in everything that he had left the enchanting to the others. He hadn’t even thought of doing it himself. Why would he hide behind his golems and let them fight when he had been dying to draw blood with his own hands this whole time?

The blur of events that resulted in him moving to Death City didn’t give him the opportunity to think about anything but what was directly in front of him. Everything happening made him completely forget he could even do that, that he had in fact been living a different life these past years.

“You still have those?” Giriko’s chains jumped out from under his skin, letting him turn on his heel fast enough that some of the carpet tore beneath him. Justin wasn’t alarmed or worried about Giriko’s rough reaction, or the state of his carpet, he just stared down at the older man’s gloves with an unreadable expression.

The shock passed and the fear drained away after he realized it was only Justin. And when Giriko finally processed the priest’s question he found himself almost offended by it.

“Yeah? Why wouldn’t I?” Clenching his hands unconsciously he listened to the squeak of shined leather on leather. Giriko was shocked at how shiny they still were, these gloves were old. Far older than the priest staring at him with tired eyes. He didn’t remember exactly when he had made them, but it was a few lifetimes ago surely.

“I thought you were just hiding there, I didn’t realize you had some kind of connection to the town.” Giriko drew back, a connection? He hadn’t really considered anything like that before. That was just where he lived, where he had settled after Arachne hid. It wasn’t anywhere special… but… if that was true why had he never left? For Arachne’s sake? The only reason he kept making Golems all these years was to make money… right?

“Not that it's bad that you do, it's sweet actually.” There were too many thoughts swirling around his head right now. He needed everyone to be quiet, that or he needed the topic to change. This was more then he signed up for today, this wasn’t something he wanted to think about right now. He had thought about too much already.

Opening his mouth with the intention of saying something rude that would throw them down a different conversation path he could only make an embarrassing choking noise when Justin beat him to it with a statement that did the exact opposite of what Giriko wanted to have happen.

“I'm glad you have somewhere to call home.” Justin’s sentence was short, but god did it bring up something that Giriko had been trying to avoid thinking about. His home. Just thinking about it felt like bitter electricity. It made him bounce up off the floor and back up to his feet, desperate to claim back his height advantage. Justin didn’t seem to back down, or even be affected by the sudden display of aggression though, he just looked up tiredly and tilted his head in confusion.

“Can you shut up!” Giriko refused to acknowledge how his voice cracked a bit there. Luckily Justin didn’t bring it up either, instead he just looked at Giriko with annoyance. There was a moment of horrible silence before Justin responded to the rude command.

“What’s wrong? I’m saying I’m happy for you.” Giriko’s hands came up for a second but as he clenched them into fists he realized what he was doing and forced them back down. He had to control himself, he couldn’t throttle the other no matter how badly he wanted to. As the rage bubbled deep in Giriko’s soul he had to wonder if Justin was doing this on purpose or if he really was giving his good graces. He really could never tell.

On purpose or not the result was still the same though, Giriko couldn’t hold back his frustration enough to say anything more snarky or productive then-

“Shut up you damn preacher!” Justin stared at him for a bit, considering everything with those damn cloudy eyes and a quirked eyebrow. Mercilessly judging. But then he sighed, deciding to take pity on the confused soul before him and leaned back against the wall of his apartment. Silent.

Those words stuck out like a thorn. His apartment. Justin’s. There was no avoiding this. No way for him not to think about it. Now that Justin had brought it up Giriko had to face it- This wasn’t his home. Giriko had been using it as his, and had no qualms about making himself at home but… it still wasn’t his. He’d wake up some mornings groaning at the weird blue light and chirping of birds. Would roll over to see white sheets and big windows…

It felt wrong. It wasn’t that he hated it… it just wasn’t right. His home was dark, would only light up with the flames of his kiln. The fabric was all dark and old… not crisp and white like here. He didn’t realize until how much he had been dreaming of his old home. How he had somehow managed to get homesick.

Homesick… a person like him. How could that happen? No one in that town knew what he was truly like. No one lived with him, his golems didn’t have the soul to miss and long for his return. For the first time in his life Giriko realized just how alone he was. Not that it bothered him… not much anyway. At least… he didn’t think it did. It was certainly better than being surrounded by the students here.

Glancing over at Justin he saw the priest waiting patiently, the low hum of his headphones was the only noise in the dead quiet house. Giriko grit his teeth, Where even was he? Death City? In the middle of the DWMA’s territory? Far away from his warm home… and for what?

Why had he come here? He didn’t feel bad at all for working for Arachne, he wasn’t looking to be taught under Lord Death, to fight witches and advocate for there weird form of peace. No wonder he was miserable here, no wonder he had found himself closer and closer to falling apart every day. This wasn’t somewhere he belonged.

So why? Biting the skin of his lip he felt the reason come bubbling closer and closer to the surface. Something he had known before now… but never really understood until this point.

He was here for Justin. His interest in the other was what had gotten him into this mess. It was what had backed him into this corner. He wanted to feel like an idiot, to question why on Earth he had thought it was a good idea to follow a stranger into the heart of his enemy’s territory. But somehow he couldn’t hate himself over it, because for whatever reason he didn’t regret it.

Even so... he couldn’t stop his thoughts from drifting back to

“Loew Village…” Flinching at his own voice Giriko tried to pass it off with an awkward whistle. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud, he didn’t want to give the other anymore proof to his theory of… what? That Loew was indeed Giriko’s home? That it was somewhere special to him? Why was he so insistent on hiding any genuine feeling from Justin. What was he scared of?

Sneaking a peek over towards the blonde he was stiffened up when he noticed Justin was staring blankly at him. Sweat built up on the back of his neck and he shifted, thoroughly uncomfortable with the other’s intense focus.

The silence felt heavy and unignorable, it was burrowing into Giriko’s mind and making him feel crazy. He didn’t know what to say, what he could say. Justin seemed to notice, and took pity on him. Finally breaking the silence with a question Giriko wasn’t sure how to answer.

“Do you want to go home?” Justin’s voice was quiet, offering silently. He wasn’t pushing one way or another, not even looking for an answer. Just bringing the question to Giriko’s mind. It was a weird thing to bite off, especially after coming to the realization he had just come to.

Ignoring all of this. If he hadn’t come to Death City, if after Arachne’s fall he had taken off running… would he have missed Loew? Would he have risked being caught to go back? He… wasn’t sure. Probably not. The fear of being caught by the DWMA probably would’ve kept him far away from anywhere where people might’ve known his name.

He was too well known in Loew to risk going back. Being the ‘son’ of the family that had helped found the town he had been looked up to. That’s how he convinced so many to go with Arachne…

But god did he miss the quiet, the fact everyone more or less minded their own business. He missed living in a place where he didn’t have kids running around him begging him to show them how he was able to wield himself.

He didn’t get why the children here never listened to his pleas for them to go bother Justin instead. Somehow they were all more scared of the shining beacon that was the priest then him. Which was insulting to both him _and_ Justin. It probably all boiled down to the fact that talking to him meant talking to a death scythe. Which was scary for some reason. Probably because he was so high above them or something. But that didn’t change the fact that it was unbearably annoying.

If they had half a brain cell they’d know Justin was far more worried and willing to help them then Giriko ever would be. And if they have any kind of brains at all they would know that the only reason Giriko wasn’t beating them up for climbing all over him was Justin…. The man’s soft and watchful gaze was the only reason Giriko followed any the DWMA’s stupid rules. He couldn’t care less if he disappointed anyone in the academy…

Anyone but Justin.

And he hated that he was like that, that he cared what he looked like in Justin’s eyes and was willing to change because of that. In fact it wasn’t even that he was willing, he just was changing unconsciously. He had been long before Justin had been assigned to watch over him and make sure he didn’t stray again.

It was embarrassing knowing that Death’s sole reason for assigning Justin that job was almost definitely because he knew Justin was the only one he’d listen to. Even with all the friction and fighting, he couldn’t help himself and always relented to the blonde.

Of course Justin’s own behavior probably added to that decision. Justin was the one to drag him there after their last fight as enemies ended with him confessing that he didn’t know where he could go anymore. It wasn’t something Giriko had even meant to say, but after he did he had just frozen. Unable to keep lashing out at the guillotine who, at this point was really only dodging.

The next words Giriko spoke had sent something in motion, lead him here, hurtling into a weird new life surrounded by people who knew he wasn’t good but were still putting up with him. It didn’t make sense… none of this did. The words from that night felt heavy on his lips, begging him to say them again.

_ ‘I don’t know what I’m doing.’ _

Back then he was feeling much the same as he was now. Lost. Confused. He wasn’t even really sure why he had decided to confide to Justin of all people, someone he was desperately trying to kill. Any normal enemy would ignore something like that, or mock him for it. In all honesty the second those words came out he had expected something harsh and cruel, after all they had been mercilessly mocking each other back and forth up until then.

But for whatever reason Justin didn’t. And when he offered his hand silently with a conviction in his eyes Giriko found himself unable to do anything but accept. At that point he didn’t even know what the priest was offering him. For all he knew the executioner (that’s what he was wasn’t he?) was only offering him the pity of death.

Giriko knew full well taking Justin’s hand could’ve very well been accepting death. That Justin’s weapon form was full of locks and he could easily fasten Giriko to himself and just end it right there. At that point though, if that was where fate was going to take him… he would’ve just resigned himself to it.

It was depressing, that 800 years in he had just given up like that. But it also was what let him finally _move_ . Finally try and grow for once in his miserable life. In a weird way that resignation was what let him finally take his first step forward.

It was a small one, unsure and ready to withdraw at anytime. He wasn’t even consciously considering Justin’s motives and hopes… and his slight interest in understanding the rather eccentric and isolated executioner was almost completely overshadowed by everything else he was considering at that point.

In those sad six words he had only managed to express one thing. That he was lost. He was for the first time consciously recognizing that he didn’t really understand what he was fighting for anymore.

It was only one step. All he did was make the first step and then Justin came the rest of the way.

It was stupid and naive of the boy. To trust so completely after a single moment like that. It reminded Giriko this was a _kid_ . And in the days that followed he couldn’t help but feel guilty. Like he was taking advantage of Justin as the other stuck his neck out for him… The moment of Justin bowing in front of Lord Death on his behalf, asking for Giriko to be forgiven and given a second chance… It would be forever burnt vividly in his mind.

At that point they were nothing but strangers. The only words Justin had heard from him were death threats and insults… and yet… One stray comment from the chainsaw, a single moment of hesitation… he was there.

Giriko was certain he’d never understand what was going through the death scythe’s mind that night. He’d never get why Justin bothered with him, but in the end Justin’s commitment to him, the fact that he was the one who pushed for Death to forgive him… along with Giriko being unwilling to disappoint the priest was probably the only reason Death had let him live after all of this.

Giriko actually wondered if they had some how backed Death into this, if they cornered him and left him with very few options. Because if he did say no he would have rather had Giriko executed and risked losing Justin as a Death Scythe, or imprisoned Giriko and wasted a cell on someone who honestly couldn’t do all that much on his own.

Even with accepting Justin’s plea he really only had 2 choices, let Justin be the one to watch over him, or have someone else do it and have Giriko not listen. If there was another option Death probably wouldn’t of wasted one of his death scythes, and the only one who didn’t need a partner on a babysitting mission like this.

Pushing his hair back the feeling of his gloves soft worn leather reminded him how this all started. These gloves were representative of his home, of the life he had before now. Justin had asked him if he had wanted to go home, and was no doubt expecting an answer. Looking nervously over at the other he cringed a bit when he saw the other was still waiting. He didn’t even manage to get a word out before Justin noticed Giriko’s less than subtle stare and smirked.

“You’ve been thinking for a long time…” Justin’s words were gentle but sharp, understanding of Giriko’s plight but also tired of waiting. There was a moment of embarrassment on Giriko’s part, but it left as soon as it came. The other’s slight annoyance with him made him want to be even more annoying. So instead of answer he just smiled, cracked his shoulders and picked his box back up to put it away. He couldn’t help but notice how Justin made a disgruntled noise at Giriko not responding.

It was clear Justin was trying to hide his irritation with him and be patient, still, it was obvious he was beginning to lose his calm. Giriko didn’t ever really ignore Justin, even when he was trying to be a pain in the ass. In his mind if he went quiet it would be giving up and letting the other person win. He had never considered it would piss Justin off.

“You asked a hard question.” Giriko felt an intoxicating sense of victory when Justin bristled at his cavalier tone. It was funny, he was pretty much acting the way Justin did when he was trying to be annoying. Who knew the kid found his own mannerisms to be more irritating than anything else.

“Apparently.” Justin’s response was clipped, he was trying to hold back any emotion from his voice but it wasn’t really working. It was weird seeing the priest get this upset. Even with Giriko making it his life mission to annoy the other as much as possible he wasn’t sure he had ever pushed Justin past just irritated before. He had been starting to think it wasn’t possible to ever truly anger Justin, but apparently he had hit a real sore spot somewhere. It’d probably be best to back pedal a bit, who knew what would happen if he continued on this route.

“Shut up, you knew it was going to be one. Otherwise you wouldn’t of been this patient.” There was still a teasing tone in his words, but as Giriko slung his arm around Justin’s shoulders with a smile that dared him to argue Justin perked back up. Giriko didn’t want to admit how relieving that was.

“Yeah I did.” Justin’s voice had regained it's normal lilt, condescending and infuriating but filled with the affection his last few words had lacked.

“Brat.” Justin smiled, warm and soft it practically took his breath away and forced him to look away from the beaming light that was the priest. The familiarity of the light hearted insult seemed to have an almost calming effect on Justin and for a second Giriko thought he had gotten out of the question.

But of course he didn’t, and soon enough Justin looked at him with a pitiful glance. “So do you?”

Sighing loudly, he made a real show of how done he was of this conversation, Justin didn’t react though. There was a moment of tense eye contact between them, a silent conversation over whether this conversation really needed to happen or not. After it became clear that the priest wouldn’t back down Giriko finally relented.

“I don’t know.” His words were honest, he really was at a loss. Still, Justin didn’t look amused.

“I think you do.” Giriko didn’t know how to respond to that. He didn’t understand why Justin was being such a pain about this. Why did he want so badly for Giriko to say he wanted to go home? What would saying that solve? It didn’t matter what he wanted, there was so much going on out of their control.

And he knew Justin knew it too. He knew the priest wasn’t stupid enough to think they had a choice here. So what was his point in asking? To be a complete ass? To make Giriko think about the things he had lost? His patience was wearing thin. After everything he had been through today it only made sense that he snapped.

“Yeah smart guy? You got this figured out?” Giriko could feel his words vibrate in his throat, huskier and more dangerous then he had meant them to be. Justin didn’t look scared though, he never did. Normally that lit a warm fluttering feeling in Giriko chest, right now it just spiked his anger further though.

“No. But I think you know what you want, and you're holding yourself back for some reason.” The boy’s voice was coated in a layer of detachment, he spoke as if the topic had nothing to do with him. Giriko’s breathing was heavy at this point, he was practically panting. Pointing a shaky finger at the other he managed to respond without completely losing it.

“When did you get this introspective? What’s got you in this mood?” Spit was flying from Giriko’s mouth with every word but it wasn’t like he cared. He just wanted an answer to why Justin was acting this way.

“What do you think?” Justin’s words sounded almost desperate, like he was trying to get Giriko to understand something. But he wasn’t willing to take another question answer. He was done with being treated like he was stupid.

“God I hate you. You just love to be insufferable huh?” Giriko laughed as he said it. It was almost humorous how wound up he was getting from this. It was hilarious in the worst possible way that he was putting up with this. Justin looked up at him with his dull tired eyes and smiled. Giriko felt his rage break through his chest, red and hot. But before he could do anything Justin whispered something that sounded strangely like a confession.

“Only to you.” Everything froze for a bit. All of Giriko’s anger drained out and he just sort of stared at the younger man in shock.

They settled into a bit of a silence after that. It was a bit weird, they weren’t the type to sit around quietly. Well… Giriko wasn’t. But for once he couldn’t really find anything to say. Justin’s words had left him feeling weirdly blank. He wasn’t mad or annoyed with them like he thought he’d be. If anything they made him feel happy… in a weird way. Being the only person someone took the time to annoy really wasn’t something to be glad about, so why was he?

“Giriko… You aren’t happy here… are you? I don’t want to keep you here if you're not.” The weird warmness he had been feeling faded back away just as quickly as it came and Giriko found himself at a loss. He wasn’t happy here, he had come back home at his wits end… but just then he had been happy. And even if he hadn’t been where on Earth would he go?

“You're not the one keeping me here. Death is.” Giriko’s tongue tasted bitter with those words, it felt like he was admitting defeat. Accepting there was no way out. Was this what Justin wanted? For him to realize he was trapped here? Looking over at the other he realized that that absolutely was not it.

Justin looked distressed. But more than that disappointed. Giriko hated how much of an idiot that made him feel like. He didn’t understand what Justin was looking for though, he didn’t know what he wanted. What he was trying to get Giriko to understand.

And Justin seemed to finally realize that, take pity on him and explain.

“Is he? I think you know as well as me that if you ran away Lord Death wouldn’t bat an eye.” Justin’s words hit Giriko like a steel pipe. He felt the wind get knocked out of him with the realization. But Justin wasn’t done yet.

“He wouldn’t care enough to send someone to hunt you down, not unless you started another kind of uproar.” The words pierced through Giriko’s chest and made him choke. Justin was right, they both knew he was. There was absolutely nothing stopping Giriko from running away. No one was holding him here, he wasn’t trapped in this with no way out but death or exile like he thought he was…

He was staying here by choice. Because he wanted to. And despite the fact that he felt even more out of place here then he did back home he never even considered leaving. Not because he was being held here, not because leaving would mean certain death. It was because leaving Death City would mean leaving Justin. There was no denying that anymore.

“Why are you bringing this up now?” Giriko’s voice was choked, the words came out in a weird whine.

“Because… it wasn’t until now that I knew you missed your home.” The silence that settled over them was suffocating, and Giriko wasn’t sure what to say. He hadn’t known he had missed Loew until now either… he didn’t know any of this until now. He felt burnt out, exhausted and humbled. But at least there was nothing else that could be thrown at him now…

Nothing but….

“You should go home Giriko.” Giriko felt his body go cold, his tired and irritated face turned into one of desperate shock. The strange feeling from before came back, only this time it was crippling, pulling his organs like a taffy pull and making him sick. Why couldn’t he breathe? What was this? The realization hit him like a pile of bricks.

This was heartbreak.  

The denial shattered and all at once Giriko was forced to realize he hadn’t come here out of curiosity. He hadn’t followed the priest because he was looking for a place to belong after Arachnophobia fell. He already had a place he belonged. He wasn’t looking to understand or belong in society. He never cared about that.

He had come because he had fallen in love with Justin. He had kept fighting Justin after the battle was over because if he didn’t he’d never see the priest again. He had resigned himself to DWMA because he wanted to be closer. He was staying here because he couldn’t say goodbye.

He was heartbroken at the idea of going home because a life without Justin there would be more painful than his life here.

But still Justin looked set on him going back. So really… there was only one way Giriko could respond.

“Come with me.”


	2. Snake's Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Giriko backtracks because he's scared as fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried my best. Uh sorry this took so long I had some real hell going on. Hopefully this isn't too disappointing and I can get the next chapter out soon ;v;)/ I have? A feeling this moves way too fast but? I've been trying to get it to work like a month and if I don't just put it out here I never will tbh. (also i'm my own beta so forgive me for dumb mistakes)
> 
> So with all of that said I hope you enjoy these dumbasses who refuse to just talk to each other and fix their problems.

_ All the air in Giriko’s lungs was forced out as the infirmary’s wall crashed against his back. There was a disgustingly wet pop in his throat and he gasped horribly, trying to rip his hands from the cuffs behind his back and shred the person in front of him. The chains under his skin were buzzing, begging to come out and turn the man into minced meat. It only made it worse that there was every possibility for him to do that. The restraints around his arms didn’t matter, his legs were still perfectly free, he could still rip the stupid zombie in front of him to pieces. And boy did he want to, he wanted to so bad and from the look on Sid’s face it was obvious that he knew that was exactly what Giriko was thinking. _

_ “Try it, I dare you. What do you think will happen if you do?” His teeth grit together tight and painful, drool dripping down his chin as he snarled at the man holding him up against the wall. He should’ve known this was going to happen. He should’ve known it from the second this asshole had insisted to accompany Justin in bringing him here. Should’ve known this is what the conversation on the other side of the door had been about.  Should’ve known to be worried from how distressed the guillotine’s voice was.  _

_ “What are you trying to accomplish here?” The weight of his entire body was being supported by his shoulders and he could feel his muscles straining, the bone creaking from under Sid’s iron grip. Fucking meisters. Way too good with death grips, always desperate to not lose their hold on their partner. It was pathetic, it made Giriko grumble and fire lick at his soul. He wanted to kill him. He wanted to spray the walls with this man’s entrails. He would have if it weren’t for the world he knew was waiting for them on the other side of that metal door.  _

_ “What do you mean?” The metal around his wrists was biting into his wrists, he couldn’t help himself from jerking against them and trying to smack the other off of him. The glare on his face didn’t lighten as he snarled the words, looking for clarity on whatever the fuck the zombie was demanding to know. The question only seemed to make Sid even more mad and he tossed Giriko to side like a wet paper towel. _

_ “Cut it out with your games! You should know that no one here is going to fall for them!” Catching himself against the adjacent wall Giriko huffed, more than glad to be out of the behemoth’s grip. Both of them stared at each other with a hate far heavier than was needed for the situation at hand, both with a gaze that confirmed just how much they wanted to spill each other’s blood. Sid broke the horrible, scratching, bloodthirsty silence first.  _

_ “What are you trying to do to Justin?” Giriko actually drew back for a second, fully confused about what Sid was accusing him of. He had expected a lot of friction here. He had expected people to want his blood and that they would be willing to break their own dumb rules to get it. He knew what he was getting into and had been ready to deal with there explosive anger about his crimes against the academy. Because the fact that they would want revenge for all their troops he had killed was just common sense. So what made this weird was that it wasn’t about that. Or at least, not entirely. It was about Justin- and that didn’t make any sense. _

_ “I don’t want anything with your brat! He’s the one who dragged me here!” Justin was the last person to worry about right now. He had been the one towering and horrifying over Giriko, offering his hand with an expression of complete seriousness only for it to bloom into a malicious thin smile when the enchanter accepted. He was the one who had been refusing to clarify anything as he somehow managed to convince the chainsaw to follow him deeper and deeper into the academy. He was the one planning something, not Giriko.  _

_ “Like I’d believe that!” Giriko’s skin felt wet, sweaty and clammy with oppressive horror coming over him. The enchanter didn’t know Justin very well at all. Especially not in comparison to the annoying group of elites here that had probably known the kid for his entire life. It would make sense that these people knew Justin, what he was actually like. They should. They should know what the person they were harboring was like. Giriko was coming to the shocking realization that they didn’t. Because Justin wasn’t dumb. At least not enough to fall for anything Giriko said. Not even when the enchanter didn’t even realize he was lying himself.  _

_ It was almost scarier that he knew exactly why they thought Justin was though. He did. He knew why they thought the kid was falling for some kind of weird sob story. He knew why they thought he was a fool. Because it was impossible to not think that upon first meeting Justin.  _

_ The kid looked like a dumbass walking around in his long coats and singing completely meaningless prayers. When they first met Giriko couldn’t manage to be anything but absolutely exhausted by the fact that someone like Justin existed. After all the guillotine seemed literally mindless. And when paired with his headphones that let him tune out anything that might make him think about what he was doing for one goddamn second he looked… Well, pitiful. Like someone who really didn’t have the mind to think on his own. Like a pawn that was thoughtless and meaningless without it’s king.  _

_ And Giriko had no doubt that he would have still believed that about Justin, that he would’ve laughed at the other’s pointless, naive, straight up dumb offer to bring him to the DWMA, if he hadn’t seen the other at BREW. But he had, and the person he saw there would never not be burnt into his brain. Even now he had a hard time believing that was Justin. In fact it felt cruel that the soft smiling boy with rosebud lips and golden shimmering hair was the same person he saw there. What was that joke about the prettiest people always being the most delusional?  _

_ In hindsight he really should’ve seen it coming, because really, Justin had already seemed delusional with his weird fanaticism. But he hadn’t and as the scythe had acknowledged him past the wreck of limbs and stone that had been destroyed in the avalanche Giriko had been shocked to see more than just dutifulness behind his eyes.  _

_ It was hard to tell just what the kid was thinking, he had that creepy cloudy haze over them like he always did. But one thing had been for sure- Justin wasn’t just following orders anymore. It was obvious that he had personally wanted Giriko’s blood. That something had happened that made Justin more than just mad. The chainsaw couldn’t deny that made him excited, that his lips had peeled back into a horrific smile that craved bloodlust. He was more than ready to fight Justin for real, for personal vendetta. More than ready for the scythe to see him as an actual opponent rather than just another enemy of the academy.  _

_ Because just that expression on Justin… it was unbelievably satisfying to see. It was proof that the kid wasn’t the loyal unthinking priest he framed himself to be. It was proof that all his bullshit it was a facade. But most importantly it was proof that Giriko had been the one that riled him up enough for it to break. It was an accomplishment the enchanter took too much pride in. Or maybe it was the right amount, because what was he doing if not trying to spread the madness? Getting a Death Scythe to fall victim to it was surely the best thing he could’ve done.  _

_ Not.  _

_ There had been nothing but red hot fear in Giriko’s soul as he realized he absolutely should’ve not woken up whatever he had in Justin. That this kid was a Death Scythe for a reason and that of course completely unhinged he was something that could easily turn Giriko in a bloody smear. Not only could- would if he didn’t do something right away. And maybe that would’ve been fine if he had been expecting it, maybe it would’ve changed the entire tide of the battle if he had brought something to restrain the completely psychotic child and brought him back. Or maybe if he had something that could’ve pushed the guillotine far enough that he’d break entirely and irreparably, they would’ve come out on top. _

_ But he didn’t. Because he hadn’t even considered that Justin could think hard enough to fall victim to Asura’s wavelength. He had underestimated the scythe and had to pay the price for it. And boy did he. It a horrible blow to his pride that he had been forced to dance to a mere child’s tune. That all he could do was dodge and throw in a couple hits he knew wouldn’t connect in a desperate hope to survive the guillotine’s complete breakdown.  _

_ In all honesty Giriko still wasn’t completely sure how he had made it out of that alive. When Justin threw him against that snowbank he had thought for sure it was game over, that his 800 years ended here with a couple bad decisions and a blonde priest who had lost his holy air with an infectious madness he seemed to understand far more than Giriko would’ve expected. In fact, Giriko was pretty sure he was supposed to die there. And he wasn’t saying that in a survivor guilt kinda way- he couldn’t care less about all the people that died there.  _

_ No, he was saying that because he fucking knew his surivial was nothing less then a miracle provided by pure chance. That hadn’t just been a brush with Death, he had felt it enveloping him and clinging onto his skin like a disgusting tar. He had watched Justin’s stomach hollow out and his white cloak begin reveal a blade and felt like a fool for not realizing had been hiding there this entire time.  _

_ Justin was a guillotine, he knew that. At least he thought he did. But when he saw the weapon approaching him, trapping him against the snowbank he realized that he hadn’t completely understood the horror a weapon like that carried. Justin’s presence wasn’t just scary because he was weird. He was scary because everyone knew a death by his hands would be filled with judgement and a moment where you’d have to consider what led you there before the blade fell.  _

_ Giriko wouldn’t of said he gave up, but as the guillotine crouched in front of him with an expression that really didn’t look right on someone who was always gushing about the beauty in the world… He could imagine his blood on that blade. He could see the end coming. That should’ve been his first sign that Justin was too good at convincing people of anything- including their deaths. That should’ve told him not to trust anything the guillotine said.  _

_ But it didn’t. Because even after he managed to snap out of it and shred the snowbed behind him with his chains and run away with a handful of snow copies he hoped would distract the delusional scythe for long enough for him to get away, he fell into the other’s trap all over again. And he had a sickening feeling he’d never stop falling for his tricks. _

_ So it was no wonder that the next time he saw Justin he had felt his heart entirely stop. Which how could it not? The priest had been missing for months, no one had reported seeing him in any battle after that. And despite the fact that Giriko had been desperately looking for him, looking to be free from the horrid eyes that now haunted his dreams every night, he never found the other. He honestly started to think that Justin had died in the mess of BREW. That the horrible mess of that fight would be the last he’d ever see of Justin. That things had ended just like that and he’d have to carry the ghost of the kid with him forever.  _

_ But he was here. With a thin smile that held none of the insanity of that day. Instead it held a different kind of insanity. A desire. Giriko knew without asking that Justin wanted something from him in particular and was going to do anything to get it. It was horrifying. It was horrifying and Giriko didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to handle the person before him who he so completely and entirely didn’t understand.  _

_ “I was looking for you.”  _

_ Giriko’s blood went cold with Justin’s words. He couldn’t think of anything more horrifying that could’ve possibly fallen from the other’s lips. He was scared. He was scared of the scythe in front of him. For good reason too. Justin had almost convinced him to embrace death once. He already knew the guillotine had a presence that could sway him into horrible decisions that would no doubt leave him disfigured and destroyed. He knew he couldn’t afford to listen to the kid for even a second. _

_ And yet he still took his hand.  _

_ He let himself be fooled again.  _

_ Giriko knew far too well that Justin wasn’t someone stupid at all. That he was someone who could convince people of anything with his sweet voice and sugar comments. He was manipulative, using people misconception of him to drag them further and further down into his lies until there was no way for them to swim out. Giriko had fallen for it completely, multiple times. But that was because he hadn’t known Justin. He hadn’t known his games.  _

_ Surely the DWMA did. Surely they knew what there infectious, horrific child scythe was capable of. Surely they were the ones who taught him to do it. Showed him how to so amazingly and completely fool his enemies into walking into their deaths. They had to know. There was no way they didn’t. There was no way Justin was fooling them too. _

_ Sid’s words were genuine though. He really believed Giriko was the dangerous one here. He really thought that Justin was the lost and confused one that was following along with whatever he was told. That was horrifying. It was horrifying to realize that not even the DWMA knew how manipulative the guillotine was. That Justin wasn’t just fooling his enemies, but the entire academy as well. Giriko’s throat felt swollen as he gave his shaky reply. _

_ “I don’t think you should be concerned about believing me. I’m not the one trying to convince you of anything.”  _

Giriko coughed, being shaken awake by a rocky section of road and a puff of dust being blown in his face. God… where was he? When had he fallen asleep? The world was moving by so fast by him, the concrete whizzing right under his feet was nothing but a blur of black. Groaning he rubbed one of his eyes, keeping his other arm firmly around the only thing keeping him on top of the bike he had woken up on.

“Did you sleep well?” Justin’s voice was mocking but also incredibly light, right on the verge of laughing. There was a moment that was like a spike of fear, sharp enough to stab his heart far too painfully, but it quickly subsided and Giriko grumbled and lifted his heavy head off the priest’s warm shoulder. Only a bit embarrassed at how he left a trail of drool behind. His head hurt. It felt like whiplash to be so close to Justin after his dream. 

“Where are we?” His voice was hoarse from sleep. He was groggy and honestly pissed off at how stiff he had gotten sleeping like this. It didn’t help his souring mood at all when he realized that Justin wasn’t going to be able to hear him. ‘Hear’ him. He wasn’t going to be able to read his lips while they were like this. 

“Almost there, it should be the next exit actually. You’ve been asleep for so long I was kind of amazed! You must be really tired huh?” For the second time in the extremely short amount of time he’d been up Giriko felt his heart stop. He hadn’t been expecting Justin to respond at all, because how on Earth had he heard him? Was he just guessing? He was scarily good at that. His margin of error was almost 0 but there were still times he messed up and Giriko could make fun of him for it as his face turned a pretty red. 

Wait… pretty?

Suddenly the last night came flooding back to Giriko like a goddamn trainwreck. Thank  _ god  _ Justin couldn’t see him because he knew his face looked like as shocked as he felt. Not only that but he was on fire. Red as hot iron and could probably brand wood too. He could only hope Justin couldn’t feel his heat either. Because that would be just as much of a give away as his face was. 

“Shut up for once… you talk so goddamn much.” His voice was a bit choked at the end there but if Justin noticed he didn’t say anything. Maybe he really was wearing his headphones and had just taken a shot in the dark.

“I think you’re the last person on earth who can complain about people being loud.” Nope he could definitely hear. Leaning back ever so slightly under the guise of repositioning himself Giriko realized the other had taken one of his earbuds out at some point. That… made him feel a bit weird. Not in a bad way, just in a way he didn’t understand. Which kind of made everything uncomfortable. So he supposed it was bad, in its own weird way. 

“So… Did you have a good dream back there?” Now that did make him feel bad. Panicked. There was no way Justin knew what he had dreamed about, or even knew he had a dream at all. Right? But then… why was he asking? Giriko felt heavy drops of sweat roll down his face as he looked out as the passing scenery with a focus that showed just how nervous he was. 

“What?” He tried to make the question sound sharp and aggressive. Make it sound like he was mad about the intrusive question. Because he was. It was just currently being overshadowed by the complete crushing fear that always came from Justin seemingly peering into his soul.    


“It seemed like you were dreaming back there. Was it a good one or a nightmare?” Giriko made a face. What kind of question was that? How was he supposed to know? His dreams were always weird hazes of bittersweet or confusing messes that he had a hard time telling apart from reality. And that one had been no different. Giriko couldn’t even start with that one to be honest. 

“It wasn’t either.” He couldn’t see Justin’s face but from the little hum he made and the way he tilted forward ever so slightly screamed that he was curious. Maybe it would’ve been best to just say it was a good one and make something up when the other inevitably asked what it had been. 

“Oh? Sounds interesting then, what was it about?”  _ You.  _ Giriko bit his tongue. 

“It was a memory.” He wasn’t lying, It was. It was from when he first got brought to the DWMA and had decided to keep him in holding until Lord Death had a chance to get everything back in order. But as annoyed and angry and filled with bloodlust as he had been, that part, the actual memory part, wasn’t what bothered him about the dream. No, what bothered him was shockingly cold reminder that Justin wasn’t someone he could trust. Or… at least that it was still rocky territory. Because he still didn’t know what the other was planning. 

“Oh… I’m sorry.” Justin went quiet after that and Giriko found himself growing curious. Why was that enough to shut him up? Justin never dropped anything for any reason, he was infuriatingly insistent, he wanted to know everything. Just last night was proof of that, he had kept pushing and pushing because he wanted to know what Giriko wanted, even though Giriko didn’t know himself. In this case it was obvious that Giriko knew what he had saw and was perfectly capable of answering. So why did he not care now?  

“Why are you sorry?” There was a beat and Justin shook his head in disappointment ever so slightly. Like he was annoyed Giriko didn’t get it. Like the bullshit he was saying had an obvious meaning.

“Was it a good memory?” His lack of a response was answer enough. Justin sighed out his nose and Giriko knew without seeing his face that he had that pitying smile that always made him want to punch the other hard enough to knock out teeth. 

“That’s why.” There was something infuriating about that. How did Justin manage to be so insufferable with so few words? It was like, his talent. 

“I don’t get how you're still like this… aren’t you tired? How long have you been up?” It had been more than just a few hours at this point. Loew wasn’t all that far from Death City but it was definitely far enough that a person shouldn’t of been able to drive nonstop all the way there like Justin had. Especially not on a motorcycle. Giriko rubbed his forehead, feeling his temples knot up with a horrible headache. He wasn’t quite sure why he hadn’t insisted they at least stop somewhere, the idea of how easy it would be for an exhausted Justin to turn them into a blood smear on the road should’ve really come to mind before now but somehow it didn’t. 

Probably because it was incredibly hard to stop anything Justin got his mind on, he was like a goddamn whirlwind sometimes and it always left the chainsaw disoriented enough that he couldn’t think fast enough to say anything. 

“Mmm, not really. I don’t think I could sleep right now if I wanted to.” Giriko snorted, he had more than just a hard time believing that. He didn’t bother calling the other out more than the laugh though. He didn’t care enough to argue about it. Apparently Justin was in a similar boat as he tensed up for a second but stayed quiet. 

Silence fell over them with that. It wasn’t really a bad one though. Giriko sighed and let his gaze drift downward. He was so tired… he hadn’t even bothered to take off his gloves they had left in such a weird rush. He didn’t really get why Justin had felt the need to leave right away but he really hadn’t given a shit when they left, especially because he wasn’t the one who had to drive here. But still, having his fingers trapped within the big mechanics for so long felt kind of weird. 

Wiggling his fingers slightly to get the blood flow back Justin jumped- obviously feeling the movement around his waist. Giriko blinked, somehow shocked by the reaction even though it only made sense. Looking down to wear his hands lied he was shocked to realize that the death scythe’s waist wasn’t any bigger than the circumference of the enlarged mechanic hands on his gloves. Had he always had such a small waist?

Actually… now that he was this close to Justin he realized that, besides height, he was pretty tiny all around. Giriko was torn between being pissed off that someone so small was capable of throwing him around, and being uncomfortably hot. His mind wasn’t helping him with the latter part either, now that it was brought up he kept noticing little things, like how the priest smelled a lot like roses and candle smoke, and how he had tiny golden studs in his ears that Giriko had somehow never noticed before.

Giriko was starting to come to the shocking, but not really, realization that maybe he hadn’t learned something life changing about his feelings for the other last night and that he might just be pent up. Yeah… that seemed about right. He wondered if he could convince the other to do anything with him though. Considering how non literally anal he was probably not. Groaning in annoyance he could only smile with a smug humor when the scythe’s arm came back to slap him as best as he could without tipping them over.

“Stop being weird back there, I can feel you planning something awful.” The other was always so annoyingly perceptive and it pissed Giriko off constantly. More than just that actually- it scared the shit of him. This was one of the first times that it didn’t. Because for once he wasn’t the one upset or trying to get the other to stop. Making Justin uncomfortable was a challenge and it was incredibly satisfying when he did pull off. Even when it was unintentional.

“You don’t know what I’m thinking, it could be something you’d be proud of me for.” He said it right against Justin’s ear and the other recoiled a bit and tried to slap him away again. Giriko was pretty sure this counted as distracted driving at this point and that he should probably stop for both of their sakes, but where was the fun in that? 

“You're never thinking anything that would make me proud.” Justin wasn’t wrong but Giriko still made a noise of mock offense, smiling maliciously when the other noticed that over the course of their conversation Giriko had moved past the ‘we’re sharing a motorcycle so I have to be close’ to seriously invading Justin’s personal space. As predicted Justin was more than just annoyed by that. It was satisfying to see the other squirm for the point three seconds before he felt a very bony elbow ram into his ribs. As he was gasping for air he decided that it had been worth it. 

“We’re here. Get off me before I kill you.” Blinking Giriko looked around them. Sure enough they were just outside of Loew. When had that happened? Had he really been so distracted bothering the other that he hadn’t noticed the town coming into view? 

“You wouldn’t do that, you’re too caught up in being good to make a decision like that.” That seemed to piss off Justin far, far more than Giriko had intended it to. It was obvious he had hit somewhere sensitive, but before he could even wonder what exactly about the statement had made Justin mad the scythe made another, much more real threat.

“Get off me or I’ll maim you.” There wasn’t any question whether or not Justin would do that. It was obvious from his tone of voice and generally murderous vibe right now that he absolutely would. Giriko didn’t need much more convincing after that, he wasn’t really interested in a high stakes fight right now. Especially because they seemed to have an audience. His smile turned into a disgusted grimace as he jumped off and looked at the people whispering amongst themselves in the streets. 

He knew that some of them, if not all of them, recognized him. He hadn’t just been some average joe here, he had been a person who led them into a war they had lost. A person who disappeared as soon as everything went sour. A person who was suddenly back, hand in hand with one of the very Death Scythes that had killed far too many of them. He hadn’t realized it until now but coming back here, with Justin of all people, was a pretty risky decision. Or at the very least a decision that promised a lot of heat. 

Putting his hand out to Justin the scythe took it in confusion, completely shocked when the enchanter pulled him off the bike roughly and began walking. Any of his earlier good mood or confusing thoughts about Justin were gone. He wasn’t thinking about anything but getting out of here. He didn’t want to be out in the public eye right now. Not until he managed to get his bearings with everything else going on. 

Justin was tripping behind him, trying to get to his feet but unable to with the pace Giriko was setting. He didn’t stop and let the other orient himself, not even when he heard him complain and almost fall completely over. He dragged the kid all the way to his house, unlocked the door and threw him inside. Quickly going in himself and locking the door behind him.

To say Justin was disoriented and confused was an understatement, he apparently hadn’t been able to catch himself after Giriko threw him inside and now he was on the floor, staring up at the chainsaw with an almost scared expression. It was something that was kind of satisfying to see, but he was far too worked up about what had happened outside to actually enjoy the weird power trip this would normally give him. 

But when the mood didn’t lighten it started to become obvious that Justin didn’t just look scared- he was scared. Because Giriko wasn’t acting like himself. Because he suddenly didn’t recognize the man in front of him. Giriko knew that in Justin’s eyes he looked like someone brash and awful, who never considered how other people would react and never took things seriously. And he really didn’t care that Justin saw him that way. He actually preferred the other to think that way and always give him the benefit of the doubt- so that even when his intentions really had been malicious he could get away with it. 

“Stand up.” Justin did, without any argument or anything. It was weird and uncomfortable having the other follow his instruction without some kind of smug look or snarky comment. He knew the kid was scarily good at following orders, and that he took them very seriously and without question. But he wasn’t supposed to be that way with him. Too many questions Giriko didn’t want to think about came up when he realized Justin was only doing what he said because he was scared. 

All the possible meanings and reasons behind that made the enchanter feel more than just a little sick and he brushed past the other in an angry hurry. Desperate to find something to drink and get his mind off of this. He might’ve been gone for over a year, but it was his house. There had to be alcohol somewhere. And sure enough there was. An old dusted over bottle of vodka was still on the counter from whenever the fuck he had left. He barely even looked at it before he took a swing and grimaced at the sharp taste. This was awful, all of it. How hadn’t he thought of this before he came here? 

Probably because Justin hadn’t even given him a second to think about everything. The anger boiling under his skin made him acutely aware of his own rising blood pressure. Where was he anyway? Peeking around the corner back towards the door, he found himself at a loss to see Justin still just standing there. Exactly where Giriko had left him. He was just looking down at his hands and waiting. It was more than just weird to see and the enchanter's mouth felt dry when he called out to the other.

“What are you doing over there?” His voice sounded almost hoarse. He didn’t like this. Not at all. Justin being scared of him was something that should of brought him immense joy because it should’ve meant that the kid finally had admitted that he was the stronger one. Because he finally wouldn’t have to scared of where this shit was going. But that wasn’t what this felt like at all. There was no victory here, just an uncomfortable atmosphere that felt like it was made entirely of bitter oil. 

“Am I allowed to come in?” Never in his life did he want to hear Justin ask him for permission for anything. The kid was a brat who did whatever he wanted and just smiled like an asshole when he was called out on it. Giriko had never seen anyone make him feel bad for anything he did except Asuza. And she seemed to be able to make anyone feel bad with her sharp and cutting words that were always sincere in the worst possible way. 

“Why the fuck are you asking me? Aren’t you already inside anyway? Are you a vampire? Do you need a written letter?” Justin’s face turned into an upset frown that looked far more like a childish pout then his normal annoyed grimace or pitying sighs. He looked like he did when he was with the other DWMA elites, like he did when he knew he was around people higher up then him. That bothered the enchanter far more than he wanted to admit. 

“Not a vampire- just not a heathen like you.” It was mumbled, only a shadow of the normally infuriatingly smug tone that Justin always held, but at least it was something. He watched blankly as the kid took off his shoes and bowed his head slightly before entering, as if Giriko cared about, or even wanted any of those weird formalities. Justin looked awkward padding in, like he was thoroughly uncomfortable being here but also trying to not be obvious about it. 

Giriko didn’t notice that at all though. He was too busy being shocked at the fact that Justin was in his home. Which, of course he was, this where they had been heading for the past 13 or so hours. But there was something about actually seeing the scythe inside, standing underneath the old broken skylight (because of course he had wandered over to the one place with natural light, he was like a fucking cat when it came to sun beams) and watching how the sunlight illuminated the dust around him like glitter that was overwhelming. Justin looked over to him with his sharp clouded blue eyes and Giriko felt his heart stop. 

“Giriko?” Ok. Maybe he  _ hadn’t  _ been completely insane last night. Maybe he  _ had  _ picked up a pesky crush at some point. That only made it more important to get it out of his system though. He had to do something to cut it off before it turned into anything more. Because goddammit he refused to believe this was love. All of this was some kind of trick. There was no way he was in love with the brat, he had just been panicking looking for a reason last night. This was just a crush, meaningless infatuation with a guy who happened to have a pretty face. There wasn’t anything more here. 

“Don’t break anything.” Justin looked offended, and Giriko had a feeling the other was about to rudely remind him about his first week at Justin’s apartment and his rather dumb decision that may or may not have left a scorch mark on the guillotine’s ceiling. So before the scythe had a chance he ducked back around the corner, snorting slightly when he heard a noise of annoyed distress from where he had left the other.

It’d be fine. He could deal with this. He had been dealing with the brat for how long already? It’d be a cake walk as long as he didn’t get overwhelmed. And really, how would he?  It wasn’t like there had ever been anything super stimulating in this dead end town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always a sucker for the 'start with a flashback' shit because I'm lazy and Idk how else to get that information in there, so uh hopefully it works decently enough? Also I love Sid so so much don't get me wrong, I just think he'd be the one with the most desire to beat Giriko unconscious. Uh... what else? I'm working on a prequel for this from Justin's point of view that I plan on releasing soon. So if you liked the flashback part then you're probably going to like Justin's side of this :>
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	3. Stained Glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I feel nauseous. Ok. I forgot to add the tag 'bipolar Justin' to this fic until now so uh. Be warned that that's in this chapter. It's kinda a big part of it to, so if you have a problem with any kinda discussion of mood disorders this isn't the chapter for you. 
> 
> Also this is kinda a short chapter but I feel like it's a good length? Idk hopefully it doesn't come across as lazy.

The way Justin wandered into the kitchen after him was awkward enough that Giriko found himself embarrassed just looking at him. It was unbearably obvious that the guillotine had absolutely no idea what he was or wasn’t allowed to do and was thoroughly uncomfortable being in someone else’s space. In fact Justin was so ridgid standing near the counter that Giriko had to wonder if the kid had ever been in another person’s house before. 

It certainly seemed like he hadn’t with how completely terrified the other looked staring at the floorboards. Giriko took a swig of the old bottle that really tasted more like dust than alcohol at this point as he tried to decide what to do. Justin was so uncomfortable here that it was honestly starting to make him uncomfortable. He had to say something. It was starting to look like if he didn’t the scythe would pass out from holding his breath. Unfortunately since it was him that had to do the talking there was a good chance this would turn into a fight. Never one to be good with words he couldn’t manage anything more eloquent than-

“What the hell is your problem.” Justin blinked, somehow shocked he had been called out for his weird attitude. The guillotine’s utter surprise around the question completely whipped him out of the weird way he was acting. Giriko felt his eyes narrow in a silent anger. What a brat. He should’ve known what the kid was doing here. He should’ve known he was just trying to be a pain. That change in attitude- that  _ slip  _ was proof of it. Which Giriko  _ should’ve  _ been expecting. Justin didn’t care about being polite around him. It was obvious he didn’t give half a shit about what the enchanter thought of him. So why would he suddenly start caring? 

He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t and was playing some kind of game. Screwing around because that’s what he always did. Giriko had no idea what his play was with this attitude- he really couldn’t imagine what Justin could get out of acting like a scared kid, but the scythe had probably already thought 5 steps ahead here. His stomach turned. He didn’t want to deal with this kind of stuff right now. He didn’t want to deal with Justin right now. He  _ couldn’t  _ deal with Justin right now. Couldn’t play these games.

If he did Justin would inevitably poke at him and pull everything he could out of Giriko. That was always how he played. It was insufferable but never that big of a deal. It couldn’t be all that big of a deal because Giriko didn’t have anything all that important to hide. At least he  _ usually  _ didn’t. Right now he did. Right now he wasn’t hiding something as pointless as a weird kind of homesickness. Wasn’t hiding something dumb like the fact that he had beaten some random citizens senseless. He wasn’t hiding something that Justin might’ve just given him a look of disappointment for before moving on. Right now he was hiding something he couldn’t risk Justin pulling out of him. 

A disgusting, misplaced, festering affection. A horrid crush that kept creeping up his throat and making his tongue feel heavy with words that would guarantee his death. A dirty secret that Giriko needed to burn away before he could even consider playing like this with Justin again. 

A weird sick pit opened up in his stomach with that. How long would he have to avoid these games? Until it went away? How long would that be? Biting his tongue Giriko looked at the counter with a fury. Why the hell would he care how long it took? It wasn’t like he actually liked the brat’s weird cloying games where he acted like he really cared just to get as much out of Giriko as he could. There was no way he did. 

“I guess I’m tired.” It was Giriko’s turn to look shocked. He had almost forgotten that he had even asked Justin what was wrong. He had been so lost in his thoughts he didn’t notice the kid’s weird silence. Or rather… he hadn’t been expecting a response. He had been expecting a  _ reaction _ . A reaction he only now realized he didn’t get.

If there was anything Giriko had learned about the scythe in their time together it was that asking Justin what was wrong with him was like whacking a hornet’s nest. It was always a bad idea and there was no fathomable way you wouldn't get stung at least once. But sometimes it was on your fucking car and you had to smack it anyway. There were of course ways to move it more gently to minimize the damage, but Giriko had taken a fucking bat to it on purpose. 

He wanted to get stung. He wanted to throw them out of this weird uncomfortable atmosphere so badly that he had no hesitation hammering the one sore spot he knew Justin couldn’t handle being touched. He wanted the other to explode. He wanted Justin to get angry and defensive. To shoot down the idea that there was anything wrong with him with a fury. He didn’t care that the guillotine would’ve undoubtedly use words that went far past playful. Getting things back to normal would’ve been more than just worth the pain of Justin cutting into the most tender parts of Giriko’s psyche. 

But for the first time ever it hadn’t worked. It hadn’t worked and he had actually gotten an  _ answer _ .

Justin didn’t just answer things. Or at the very least didn’t unless he was frustrated, impatient or pitying. He never just  _ said  _ things point blank like that. There was always some kind of reason, some kind of motive for his words. To get Giriko to shut up, to make fun of him, to get an answer, to get a response. Never just to  _ explain _ . Especially not to explain something about  _ himself _ . 

Justin  _ hated  _ talking about himself, even just how he was doing. Which Giriko really didn’t give a rat’s ass about. He didn’t care about whatever was going on with Justin. He wanted to know the kid’s motives yeah, his games definitely. Giriko wanted to know the things about the scythe that would directly affect  _ him _ , but he really didn’t give a shit about anything else. He only ever asked that question to get a rise out of Justin. And surely the other knew that. So the fact that he had responded… 

“What the fuck happened to you?” The blonde brat in front of him right now was most certainly the Justin that strangers knew, but it wasn’t him. Anyone who had actually known him would be able to tell. Stalking over to the other he ignored Justin’s confused expression and grabbed onto the scythe’s face with a vice grip, forcing him to look up into Giriko’s eyes. Under normal circumstances Justin would kill Giriko for touching him at all. So the fact he was putting up with something like this was wrong.

This was all wrong. He didn’t understand what the fuck had happened. Just moments ago Justin was threatening to maim him. Talking like normal and being an asshole like he always was. There was no way this wasn’t Justin. It wasn’t like someone could have just suddenly replaced the brat. So what the hell was wrong with him? What could have possibly happened in the 3 goddamn minutes since they got here that would’ve caused this? 

Justin’s expression started to twitch weirdly. It was a tic that Giriko had never seen on the other before. It only made more panic flare in his stomach. He hated this. He  _ hated  _ this. His grip tightened even further and the scythe struggled before finally, mercifully, getting angry. Justin hit the back of his head hard enough that he could see stars and they broke apart with confused and overwhelmed gasps that were filled with a bubbling anger. The air was heavy with tension. It was obvious that they were both pissed. That neither of them had any idea why the other was acting the way they were. Justin broke the silence first.

“I’m  _ so  _ glad you decided to bring me here. It’s seriously been a treat.” Justin was pissed. His voice made it obvious. His words made it obvious. His expression did. Everything about the scythe was  _ screaming  _ that he was more than just angry right now. Giriko couldn’t be more relieved. Managing to yank out Justin’s snappy attitude always made him weirdly pleased with himself, but in this situation it felt like he had performed a goddamn miracle. Giriko had been more than just a little scared after Justin lack of reaction to his least favorite question that even straight up manhandling him like that wasn’t going to work. 

“Next time don’t play these fucking games and it might actually be one.” He leaned back against the counter as he said it, laughing bitterly and looking up at the shitty incandescent bulbs. He wondered if he could override the circuit at some point and make them all pop like the world’s most dangerous balloons while Justin was under them. It’d be worth cleaning up broken glass to hear the scythe scream. 

“I can’t imagine a trip with you ever being a treat.” For a second Giriko wanted to be offended but after his last thought he supposed it was only fair. Because even with how hilarious that’d be there was no doubt that Justin wouldn’t see it that way and would be livid with him. He could never just laugh at those things. 

“That’s because you don’t know how to have fun.” Looking back down Giriko shot him a smug smile, relishing in the boiling hatred he could see behind the scythe’s eyes. Justin was someone unfairly beautiful all the time, but when he was like this he was gorgeous. After all there was nothing Giriko liked more than seeing Justin’s expression twist in response to his words. Nothing he liked more than knowing he was the reason Justin’s pretty face looked like  _ that _ . 

“Is that what you call fun? Please enlighten me as to how that was fun, I’d love to learn.” Justin’s words were venomous. Giriko didn’t notice until now but the part of the scythe’s chin that he had been holding onto was starting to bruise. Something hot and hard formed in his throat and choked him.

“That wasn’t fun it was-” Grumbling Giriko trailed off into nothing, scratching the back of his head in a pathetic attempt to hide his red face behind his arm. Justin sighed and wiped some of the frustrated sweat that had formed on his face off. 

“And what do you mean by games?” Justin’s voice sounded so off-put and annoyed Giriko was actually at a loss for a second. Playing games was all that Justin did, everyone who knew him knew he did. He didn’t bother trying to hide the fact that he did because he knew it’d never work. So why the hell was he hiding it now? There was no way that he hadn’t been messing around. Had he just forgotten in the rush of everything that had just happened? That felt unlikely but Giriko wasn’t sure what else it could be. 

“Don’t act like you’re some stupid scared kid, it’s creepy as hell.” Giriko figured there would be no harm in explaining what ‘game’ he was referencing, but apparently there was. Justin’s face crumpled into something uncomfortable. He looked actually upset for a second. Then disgusted, then just uncomfortable again. Giriko felt weird as the scythe’s gaze trailed to the side awkwardly. It was obvious that Justin was trying to figure out what to say to that. This wasn’t the reaction of someone who had been caught messing around. This was the reaction of someone who had heard someone say something very  _ very  _ wrong and didn’t know how to break it to them. Giriko found himself grow nervous. Scared of what the scythe could possibly say.

“So why did you want to come here? You seem pretty unhappy to be home.” Justin wasn’t making eye contact with him. He was trying to change the subject. He was ignoring what Giriko said, pretending the enchanter had never even opened his mouth. God that was infuriating. It was more than that actually. It was infuriating, insulting and  _ scary _ . What on earth did Justin know that he didn’t? What on earth had he been considering telling him but decided wasn’t worth the time? Had he decided it wasn’t worth the time or had he decided it was too risky to tell the enchanter? There were too many possibilities here and it was making Giriko sweat. 

“What was with that expression!? Don’t just skip past that!” Giriko’s voice went embarrassingly high as he yelled that. Justin didn’t seem to care or even notice though, he just looked at Giriko with an expression that was somewhere between pitious and annoyed. There was a beat of silence where they just stared at each other, the furious desperation on Giriko’s face being completely ignored by the guillotine. It was already obvious that he wasn’t going to get his answer. Of course he wasn’t. It was Justin. He’d never be that easy to deal with. 

Justin moved closer with a far too sweet smile on his face and Giriko could already feel his blood pressure rising. He knew what Justin was going to do. He was going to be fucking insufferable. He was going to do his damnedest to distract Giriko and make him forget what question he was even looking for the answer to. 

“I followed an older man to a town far far away from my home and then he started acting weird, of course I was scared.” The way Justin spoke, the way he put his face in his hands and closed his eyes was obviously supposed to be overly cute, it was supposed to be mocking. It was. It was because they both fucking knew Justin wasn’t scared of him. Because Giriko knew that the only reason Justin was putting such heavy emphasis on the fact he was a kid was to make fun of how unthreatening Giriko was to him, to a  _ child _ .

“You should fucking learn how to be scared you brat.” Slamming Justin against the wall the scythe just smiled. He had won here they both knew it. There was no way Giriko could go back to worrying about whatever the hell he had been trying to get out of Justin with this anger throbbing under his skin. His hand tightened around Justin’s shoulder until he could feel the kid’s collar bone through all the fabric and skin. There was no doubt his grip was going to bruise. Leave a mark to match the one already on the bastard’s face. 

Justin didn’t seem the least bit upset though. He looked far to pleased with how things had turned out in all honesty. He loved winning far too much. Never cared if it was at the price of his own spongey bruised flesh. Or perhaps that was part of the joy for him. That wouldn’t shock Giriko too much. It couldn’t with the expression Justin was giving him. With the absolutely psychotic pleasure that was shining behind his eyes. 

“You couldn’t hurt me if you tried. Do I need to remind you of your past attempts?” Justin was egging him on, trying to raise Giriko’s temper into something more than just violent. It was working. Giriko could barely breathe past his anger. He knew what Justin was talking about. He remembered seeing Justin across from him in their last fight as enemies. He remembered the first time Justin so perfectly plucked at all his sore spots. He remembered Justin’s truly horrific, thin mocking smile.

_ ‘You don’t want to settle the score? You do realize we’re 2-0. You’ve run away from me twice now Giriko.’ _

He could kill Justin right now. He could. Both him and Justin knew he could. There was nothing stopping him. Especially not the guillotine himself. He wanted it. Or at the very least wanted Giriko to try. It didn’t make any fucking sense. It didn’t make any sense and it was making Giriko’s breaths come out in a hot erratic panic. He had knocked something loose in Justin throwing him against the wall like he did. Something dangerous. The horrid black wisps of madness that were coming out of the kid’s soul and pulling at the corners of his lips were proof that he did. 

Justin was a person made entirely out of fucking stained glass. He was a pile of painfully sharp shards that bit at your fingers as you tried to put them where they belonged. As you tried to find where each one went. As you tried to find how they all fit together and made up the person they belonged to. Giriko had put them together over and over again, his blood was staining every piece. No matter how many times he played the game he could never find where the BREW piece fit.

But that was only because he kept ignoring the obvious hole where it went. 

Dropping Justin the other slid down the wall and hit the hardwood with a dull thud. The momentary disappointment he saw in the guillotine’s eyes made him far too aware of the flesh clinging to his bones. Of the blood coursing through his body. Of everything the scythe could’ve so easily taken from him. Of everything the scythe  _ hadn’t _ . 

“Not even a punch? Don’t tell me you’ve gone soft for me.” Justin said it so quietly it was almost a whisper. Giriko could hear something pained and sore in the kid’s voice. There wasn’t any venom in the words. It wasn’t a taunt. They both wished it was. 

“You’re not hitting me either you brat.” Justin’s hand grabbed onto the enchanter’s coat sleeve. The soft contact made both of them stiffen. They both knew what they were breaching on here. They both knew there was no point in dodging it, no point in denying it. 

“I’m not the mad one here.” Justin’s words made Giriko’s heart stop. He meant mad as in angry. They both knew he meant it as angry but the eye contact they made after that word was heavy and sickening and neither of them could’ve broken it if they tried. Justin smiled piteously. He knew what Giriko was thinking. Of course he knew.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” The question Justin hated so goddamn much. The bloody edges where the piece so obviously fit. 

“I think you know what’s wrong with me Giriko.” He did. He didn’t want to admit it though. The answer to the question Justin couldn’t handle was something Giriko couldn’t handle. He had been coming up with all these dumb reasons to be afraid. All these ideas of the things Justin could be planning. All to avoid confronting what he already knew. 

Justin was mad.

He wasn’t some evil mastermind leading Giriko into a trap. And he wasn’t some idiot that didn’t know what he was doing either. He was someone with a mind that worked so differently from how it was supposed to that people couldn’t help but assume he knew far too much or far too little. 

Because surely he wouldn’t be making the decisions he was unless he already had a plan. 

Because surely he wouldn’t be making the decisions he was unless he was stupid. 

Justin wasn’t tricking him into anything. Justin wasn’t tricking anyone into anything. Everyone was tricking themselves by trying to apply their logic to Justin’s actions. A logic that Justin didn’t share with them. A logic he  _ couldn’t  _ share with them.

Giriko didn’t want to put the bloody piece into place. He had been clenching it in his hand this entire time. Refusing to put it where it belonged. He didn’t care that it had been cutting into his hand. He didn’t care that it had been hurting him. He wasn’t ready to let it go. He was far too scared to. He didn’t want to consider what all of that meant in relation to him.

But Justin was right in front of him. He was right there, letting Giriko see the sensitive edges where the piece should go. He was there despite the fact that he hated people asking what was wrong with him,  _ knowing  _ what was wrong with him. He wasn’t moving. He was standing there, waiting for Giriko to slide it into place. This had to be unbearable for him. It  _ had  _ to be unbearable to sit there while someone decided how they felt about a part of yourself you couldn’t change. 

The piece that had been biting into his hand every second for the past year wasn’t just hurting him. It had never been hurting just him. He had to put it back. He had to put it where it belonged. He had to admit it.

He had to admit that this had never been a trick. 

He had to admit that this had always been love.

He had to admit he had been in love with Justin since the day they had fought at BREW. 

“I know what’s wrong with you.” Justin flinched but still didn’t move. The smile on his face looked so forced and Giriko’s heart felt like it was going to shrivel up and die in his chest. It hurt. It hurt watching Justin’s mouth quiver as he tried to find something to say back to that. A few seconds passed like that before Giriko decided he couldn’t take it anymore. 

When he first met there lips Justin went so stiff that for a second Giriko thought he had made a mistake. But after a beat he could feel Justin’s hand wind up even tighter in his coat sleeve and pull him closer. He laughed slightly and Justin stepped on his foot to get him to shut up. It wasn’t the most romantic thing in the world, they could smell the salty tears that were rolling down their faces as they finally bridged the gap that had separated them for far too long. They could taste each other relief and they knew it didn’t matter if it was romantic or not.  

All that mattered was that they were together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be real here. I really don't like this chapter. I tried really hard to make a proper confession between them that still felt in character and idk this was as close as I could get. Oh also Justin does have a coherent thought process here, even if it doesn't seem like it aha. I actually put a lot of effort into designing how he acts in this because he was the only one moving them forward u-u);; 
> 
> Anyway I hope some of you enjoy this and hopefully i'll see you next time~


	4. Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry fucking christmas, this year I bring the gift of continuing a fic that even I was starting to think had been discontinued. This update isn't great; but its an update, and considering its been almost half a year since the last one that should feel like a miracle (it seriously wasn't easy writing this.) 
> 
> Happy reading!

Giriko couldn’t sleep. 

How the fuck could he? So much had happened in what had barely been two days. He had gone from thinking of Justin as an annoying watchdog to realizing he was in love with the brat to learning he was mad but also loved him too in a fucking flash. He didn’t know how to process all of that, hell, he didn’t even know what all of that  _ meant _ . 

He had been trying to piece together everything that had happened and what was going on for hours now. What he wouldn’t give to have Justin explain shit point blank for once in his pitiful fucking life. Not that any kind of explanation would make this any easier or let him get some rest. Not when he  _ knew _ that most of this annoyed anger was just a cover. He was working himself up, fueling the flames of hatred and making this entire situation feel awful on purpose, because he knew the second he stopped everything would circle down the drain and he feel empty again.

800 years was a long time. One would think that after so long Giriko would have a pretty firm grasp on who he was and how shit worked… which he did… sort of. That understanding was the reason he was doing this after all. Because he  _ knew  _ who he was, and he  _ knew  _ without that anger he’d be forced to remember he was still here. He was still here… He was alive centuries after he should’ve died. Living day in day out in a purgatory esque rhythm where nothing new ever fucking happened and when it did it somehow felt like nothing. 

Justin loved him and it felt like  _ nothing. _

His teeth grit together hard enough that he could hear them scrape against each other.  _ That  _ was what he was trying to avoid with all his pointless anger around how fast things had moved. He didn’t want to admit that shit still wasn’t better, even though things had gone perfectly he still felt as empty as ever. Nothing was better. In fact shit was probably worse now because now he had something to lose. There was something disgustingly funny about the fact that Giriko could never seem to get better, but always had the ability to get worse. He’d get worse if after this Justin decided, probably rightfully, that Giriko was a waste of his time. 

Giriko felt his entire body slump with that, a dull acceptance coming over him. He was gonna go down this path huh? There wasn’t any avoiding it, his mind wasn’t taking no for an answer, it wanted him to suffer. Traitorous little bastard. Why couldn’t he just fucking enjoy things for once? Take what was in front of him and not think about how it'd inevitably be ripped away because he’d never fucking be good enough for it. 

Looking down at Justin’s curled up form he sighed. The brat was completely out, unaware of the disgusting atmosphere Giriko was creating with his absolutely suffocating self loathing. It hurt a bit to see how the scythe’s hand still held fast around a couple of his fingers. They weren’t really touching, neither of them would be the first to look to be held, but at some point while he was falling asleep Justin had moved to grab on in the most innocent fucking way. Reminding Giriko he was there with the small amount of pressure he had wrapped around his fingers. 

Giriko’s stomach turned confusingly as he watched the brat release a few deep breaths, shifting but never letting go. He had never seen Justin asleep before now, it was kind of a weird experience. Giriko didn’t really have any expectations going into this, he had never been so creepy as to imagine what the brat looked like asleep… but somehow this was surprising. Justin was so… he looked peaceful. He didn’t have that constant mildly pissed off look he had around Giriko or the dumb beaming holiness he gave to the other academy members. He didn’t even know Justin could look this way… 

Sighing Giriko pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed his eyes. This was ridiculous. He wanted to drink himself to sleep since apparently it was going to be impossible to just fall asleep on his own. How long had it been? It felt like he had been lying down for hours, there was a chance he had been in all honesty. Moving to get up Giriko’s throat tied up when he felt Justin stiffen, his grip growing tighter and his entire body shifting closer. The brat was waking up, just from feeling him start to tug his hand away. Giriko was certain he had never gone as limp as fast as he did then in all of his lives. He did not want Justin up right now, he didn’t want to have to deal with the scythe trying to figure out what was wrong.

Giriko was holding his fucking breath as he watched Justin’s face twitch, starting to wake up but not quite committed to pulling himself entirely out of the clutches of sleep yet. Fuck. He supposed it made sense that the brat was a light sleeper, being a Death Scythe probably taught him to be on guard constantly… but damn was that annoying. He didn’t want to keep sitting here. He supposed it was better than Justin being a restless sleeper though. If the brat kicked him at any point in the night he wouldn’t hesitate to snap the lanky toothpicks he called legs in half. He was not interested in dealing with a wiggly fucking child while he was trying to sleep. 

Not that he was sleeping. Groaning in annoyance Giriko arched his head back with all the tension he had worked up inside of him before falling limp, grumpy and tired. He hated this. Flopping his head over to look back at Justin he huffed at the other’s softly closed eyes, caved in with exhaustion. A dull ache settled in Giriko’s chest, adding to the pain of his pitiful fucking existence right now and with all the gentleness he could manage he switched the hand Justin was holding onto. 

It was actually pretty fucking cute to see the brat’s face wind up in distaste as Giriko’s hand was torn from him, and then instantly grab onto the hand that was offered back to him with a bone crushing grip. Snorting a silent laugh Giriko let his now free arm wrap around the nipped in center of Justin’s waist and pull him closer. Justin didn’t fight it at all, and being as asleep as he was he just fell in a dead weight into Giriko’s chest, face planting with all the elegance of a fish out of water. Ok. Maybe he was harder to wake up then it appeared. Just like every other part of the brat it was just impossible to tell. 

Resting his lips on the soft baby hairs of Justin’s hairline he breathed in a much deeper, much more strained breath than he was expecting. Holding himself together, trying not to let the horrible sticky reminder of the centuries past cold and alone here. Justin was right here, warm and brightening up the dark depressing room like a tiny bit of candlelight… but even that felt as if it was flickering. He hadn’t wanted Justin to wake up, and he still didn’t, but somehow, now that they were warm and close against each other… he felt even more alone. 

Justin felt almost fake, like a dream he was having. It felt like he’d wake up and the kid would be gone just like that. Being able to hold him like this, it felt wrong. Too good to be true. This wasn’t reality and if it was he didn’t deserve it. Not after he screwed up like he had. Someone who spent 800 years doing what amounted to apparently fucking nothing couldn’t just fucking mix into normal life like this, not when-

“Giriko?” Jumping out of his skin Giriko looked down to see Justin’s sleep hazed eyes staring at him, heavy with confusion. It was pretty clear that he had literally just woken up, but somehow his eyes were already evolving from tired and doe-like to something critical and prying. It was actually pretty scary to see the shift so blatantly. So up close. 

Giriko hadn’t really seen the kid’s expression so unguarded before, and even though it had lasted only moments there was no denying how intense the change was. How much was actually hidden behind all that sharpness. It made his skin crawl.  

“Why are you still up?” Justin’s voice was so tired and groggy Giriko actually laughed. He could hear Justin confusedly asking him what the fuck was so funny, in his own holy ‘i can’t swear’ way. He brushed off the annoyed question with an amused huff and rubbed his sore tired eyes between pinched fingers. The kid’s eyes might’ve seemed awake but his voice and brain sure weren’t. 

“Go back to sleep brat.” He could tell just by looking at Justin that the scythe’s mind was moving at the speed of a snail’s. It was obvious that he was trying really hard to figure out what the hell was going on but wasn’t getting anywhere in his half asleep state. The sharp look on his face that Giriko had just seen as horrifying started to seem a lot like tired frustration than anything actually fearsome. It made him feel like an idiot. 

Justin was undoubtedly good at tearing people open and ripping all the information he could out of people and the expression he had on now was most certainly the one he used to do that. But this moment was making Giriko wonder how often he was actually doing that and how often he was just confused and trying to make sense of what the hell was happening. Because it was clear he wasn’t doing anything but trying to form a coherent thought right now. There was something unfair about having a face like that. One where everyone had no choice but to go on the defensive because there really was no way to tell which it was. 

Justin was still looking for something to say and Giriko snorted again before grabbing the back of the kid’s head and forcing it into the covers with a firmer ‘ _ go the fuck back to sleep. _ ’ The scythe tensed up and tried to pull his face out of the fluff but Giriko held him down, fully ready to suffocate the other until he passed out- or rather  _ fell back asleep _ . Yeah, that was a nicer way of putting it. 

Unfortunately, and he probably should’ve been expecting this, it did the opposite of convincing the other to go back to bed and instead made his arm turn into its rather heavy headlock. Which came crashing down into the center of Giriko’s chest, making him let go of the scythe to cough horribly and try to get air back into his lungs. 

“What the hell was that for!?” Giriko’s voice was as hoarse and pained as one would expect after being woken up like that, but Justin didn’t seem to take any pity on him. The scythe only got up onto his hands, crawling over in Giriko’s lap and starting down at him with dark and horrific eyes, no longer interested in nicely asking what was wrong. Shit. He had known Justin waking up was pretty worst case scenario but this was going even more poorly than he had thought it would. 

“Why in good Death’s name were you trying to suffocate me?” Justin’s voice was still moderated and calm, but somehow that just made it even more scary. Especially because each word sounded so crisp and perfect despite the fact that the little brat has just been talking in sleepy mumbles a few seconds ago. Almost suffocating apparently could really wake someone up. Giriko’s mouth stretched into an uncomfortable frown.

“I would’ve let go after you passed out, if I wanted to kill ya I wouldn’t do it in such a cowardly way and you know it.” Justin’s horrifically calm look twitched into a glare, one that was definitely angry, but far less scary. After all, it was far too familiar to inspire any real fear. Smiling sheepishly Giriko let the sharp white of his teeth peek out in a smug way that only seemed to rile Justin up more. The tiniest blossom of warmth started to seep into his cold and frozen skin. 

“That does not make it any better Giriko, how on earth do you think that’s some kind of excuse?” Grabbing onto the other’s hips he laughed at how the scythe jumped like he was shocked and lost his intimidating bravado entirely. He wasn’t sure how he didn’t see this coming, but of course Justin was going to be bumbling and confused everytime he was touched for an annoyingly long amount of time, he had probably never been touched by anyone except maybe a mother before. 

That was far too exciting.

“What’s wrong Justin? Weren’t you saying something?” The bright red burning on Justin’s face only made Giriko’s smile stretch up further and further. It was clear Justin had lost his thought process entirely and wasn’t thinking about anything but Giriko’s hands warm against him. They weren’t even making skin contact, the brat’s stupid coat was still on… Giriko’s felt his smile drop slightly with his focus as he looked to see if there was an easy way to touch the soft skin of Justin’s waist. The scythe didn’t play along and swatted him away from the buttons with a weird noise.

“Giriko why the hell are you still up? What time even is it?” Frowning at the abrupt cut off Giriko shrugged non committedly and pulled the brat back down into the covers, breaking the weird, overwhelming view of Justin on top of him. The scythe made a whining noise of shock but went obediently quiet as Giriko tucked him under his shoulder and wrapped him up in a hug. It was clear he was really throwing Justin off with all of this, confusing the kid enough that there might even be a chance of convincing him it was just a dream tomorrow. 

“Don’t worry, I’m going to bed so you sleep too.” Justin’s eyes were as wide as saucers as he looked up from where he was now pinned in Giriko’s arms. Yeah, he was probably going to think this was a dream. Whatever. That would be for the best anyway, he didn’t want the kid to get some expectations from this. He just wanted Justin to sleep… that’s why he was doing this. Not because the other’s soft skin and confused voice buzzing right up against him was comforting. 

“Go to bed Justin.” Giriko felt his face crack open into a yawn as he said it, his body starting to sag around the brat as he looked around for clarification on what was happening. The little movements only made a tired smile twitch up the enchanter’s face. There was an unbearable satisfaction in knowing Justin was awake, alive in his arms, completely aware and not leaving or even struggling. 

A weird noise passed through Justin’s lips, one that took Giriko a good while to notice was a question. Something along the lines of  _ ‘what happened?’ _ or _ ‘are you ok?’ _ . Justin never got his answer before Giriko finally, mercifully, fell asleep before he could even consider why he was being asked that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk man, I just... idk. I wanted to write Giriko being a depressed lump that was very lonely and this is how it turned out.

**Author's Note:**

> Gosh, my apologies for making you all bear witness to this trainwreck of a fic. I tried really hard and I think it still reads right but i honestly don't know. I think i've read over it too many times and the words have all blurred together and stopped making sense. if you like it please let me know down below so my days spent editing this don't feel wasted and i'll get to working on the next chapter which will be way cuter and fluffier then this one.
> 
> If you want to hear updates on this or just hear me talk endlessly about Justin and Giriko you can go to my twitter @colamiilk thanks for reading


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